5 Ways to Get Your New Cat to Like You

Respect Their Space

Just like you appreciate having a quiet space to retreat to, so does your cat, says Heather Alvey, a certified cat behavior consultant and owner of Felidae Behavior Consulting. Before bringing your cat home, set up a safe space just for them. 

"This room shouldn’t be too big and should contain everything your cat or kitten needs: hiding spaces, beds, perches, food, water, litter, and toys," Alvey says.

You can gradually allow them more access to the rest of the house, but always ensure they can retreat to their safe space whenever they need to. 

Let Them Initiate Contact

Have you ever noticed that cats seem to make a beeline to the one person in the room least interested in them? While you're on your hands and knees pleading for their attention, they're already cozying up to someone who is completely ignoring them.

"Cats like to be in control of their environment," explains Susan Nilson, cat and dog training and behavior specialist and founder of The Cat and Dog House. "When the cat can control the interaction, it makes them feel safe and secure."

While Nilson doesn't suggest outright ignoring your cat, she does recommend a "cool" approach. She says to let your cat initiate contact.

Here's how:

• Offer your hand. If they approach or rub against it, they’re open to interaction. Even a glance in your direction is a good sign, Nilson assures. 
• End on a high note. Always finish interactions before your cat shows signs of stress.

Become Fluent in Cat Body Language

Cats might not speak English, but they're fluent in feline body language. To truly connect with your cat, you have to learn their language:

Positive Body Language ('Yes, Go Ahead' Language)

• Slow blinking
• Relaxed body posture, like lying down with their belly exposed 
• Tail held high with a slight curve
• Purring
• Rubbing against you

Negative Body Language ('No thank you' Language)

• Dilated pupils
• Staring 
• Flattened ears
• Stiff body posture
• Hissing or growling
• A swishing, twitching, or flicking tail
• Puffed-up tail 

"If you can read your cat's signals and respect their boundaries," Nilson says, "they'll feel safe and trust you."

Mimic Your Cat

Now that you can recognize their body language, it's time to speak feline with your cat. 

"Cats use slow blinking to communicate that they're not a threat," Nilson says. It's like a feline peace offering and humans can use this same behavior to show their cats they can be trusted. So, sit facing your cat, but give them space. Look at them calmly and begin slowly blinking at them. Hold your eyes closed for a few seconds.  After a few slow blinks, you might find your cat returns the gesture. 

Another way to connect with your cat is to mimic their rubbing behavior. Cats rub against each other to exchange scents, it’s a way of marking their territory and bonding, Nilson explains.  To encourage this, get down on all fours and let your cat rub against you.

Properly Care For Your Cat

Cats often equate care with love; you might even say their love language is acts of service. Consistent routines, like afternoon play sessions, daily litter box scooping, scheduled feedings, and regular grooming not only keep them healthy but also foster a sense of security.

By consistently providing these essential care tasks, your cat will begin to associate you with positive experiences. After all, what's not to like about a human who feeds you?