How to Train Your Cat to Not Be Mean

Different cats display various behaviors. Some are very cuddly and affectionate, while others alternate between seeking affection and ignoring it. Some cats may appear downright mean, avoiding touch and being held. Mean cats might often hiss, scratch, or bite, and there could be an underlying reason for this behavior. Learning why and how to address it can help. Depending on your cat, these techniques could offer a quick solution or require more time and effort to yield results.

Understand Why Your Cat Is Mean

Living with a mean cat can be stressful for you, your family, and the cat itself. The H.I.S.S. Test, standing for health, instinct, stress, and symptom solvers, is a useful tool to understand your cat's behavior and is a good first step in addressing it.

Health—Examine Your Cat for Problems

Cats can become withdrawn when they're unwell. If you notice a behavioral change but can't identify the cause, it may stem from an underlying health issue. A health check is wise when a cat's behavior changes suddenly. Schedule an appointment with your veterinarian and bring notes about specific changes, behaviors, or anything else that could be helpful to explain what is going on with your feline.

Instinct—Consider Recent Life Events

Cats are creatures of habit. They also learn what is safe and what is scary very early in life. Anything “new” such as a strange house or people, can put their tails in a twist when they feel uneasy or even frightened. If there have been changes in the cat's life, think about how these may impact behaviors and how you can help your cat handle the changes.

Stress—Lower Levels for You and Your Cat

The stress of living in a new place, with strangers and an altered schedule, often can cause upset kitty feelings and a change in behavior. Cats that have a close bond with their human owners also can be sensitive to your feelings of stress and act accordingly. Examine stress levels in your household to see if this is having an impact.

Symptom—Re-examine Signs of Meanness

If you have what you think is a mean can, there is a chance you may be interpreting the cat's behaviors in an inaccurate manner. Cats show love and affection in ways that humans don’t always understand. In a similar way, humans show love and affection in very distinct ways that cats don’t understand! Humans are primates. We hug, we touch and cuddle, we want to be near each other. But to a cat, a hug feels like being smothered! A hug is a confining and scary sensation to cats. Especially when a kitty already feels under stress, it will want to control the interaction. For example, a hiss actually is a warning and sign of fearfulness; a hissing cat wants you to keep your distance.

Training Your Cat to Be Less Mean

Once you've identified the cause of your cat's meanness, begin implementing behavioral changes. If it's a health issue, hopefully, your vet has provided insight, resolving the behavioral problems. If it's an instinctual issue, focus on retraining your cat's behavior. For stress-related meanness, maintain a stress-free environment and create a safe retreat for your cat. If it's a communication issue, your cat should learn to understand your cues while you learn basic cat communication.

Problems and Proofing Behavior

A common mistake is expecting a cat's behavior to change overnight. Unless a health issue is involved, this is unlikely. Give your cat time to improve by focusing on positives. Getting angry won't help and may worsen the behavior. Persist, seek professional help, and be patient with your cat and yourself. A feline behavioral specialist can assist with a seriously mean cat by observing it in its home environment and offering behavioral recommendations.